WHAT ELSE CAN EROS DO?

IS IT ONLY UP TO EROS?

Is the arrow leaving the bow solely at Eros’ whim, or does the power to pull the bowstring come from us? For those who struggle to find the emotional atmosphere they long for in romantic relationships—or who, once they find it, see it slip away—I am writing this piece for you.

Although what I am about to share applies to all kinds of relationships, I want to focus on the romantic aspect, at least to offer a perspective or a way out for those stuck in the same cycle.

Relationships serve as mirrors reflecting ourselves. Among all types of relationships, romantic ones contribute the most to our self-discovery. A romantic relationship has the power to make us experience an entire spectrum of emotions—love, hate, passion, affection, loyalty, compassion, sacrifice, betrayal, trust, abandonment, heartbreak, and so on. If we have an unhealed wound related to any of these emotions, it will inevitably surface, forcing us to face and integrate that part of ourselves. While everything may seem perfectly normal on a conscious level, our subconscious often runs an unnoticed cycle. If we fail to recognize it, we find ourselves repeating the same patterns over and over again. Since each person leads a different life, their cycles vary. The key is to first become aware of this pattern and then identify its root cause to break free from it.

Let me give a few examples of these cycles. Suppose a child was left in the care of someone else (even a grandmother or grandfather) between the ages of 0 and 7, despite the parents’ good intentions. The child might associate this experience with a deep sense of abandonment. Even the loss of a parent through death can imprint the feeling of being abandoned. As this child grows up, they unknowingly emit an intense "abandonment energy" from their subconscious, drawing in partners who will eventually leave them. Another example: If a father was overly strict, constantly emphasizing that the world is dangerous and that the child must protect themselves from the opposite sex, this could instill a deep sense of insecurity. Later in life, this subconscious "insecurity energy" may lead the person to attract relationships that are doomed from the start or extremely short-lived.

Of course, maintaining a relationship also requires self-awareness—whether we are acting on autopilot. However, I want to focus on those who struggle to initiate or sustain a healthy relationship. The truth is, we cannot fully know ourselves without the presence of another. It is only when someone stands before us and wounds us deeply that we must pause and ask, "Why am I experiencing this?" I understand that doing this while in pain is difficult, but the solution lies precisely there. What is the belief I fiercely hold about the other person? What irritates me the most about them? That’s where we find ourselves—our subconscious, the hidden place emitting powerful signals.

In other words, unless we truly become ourselves and recognize who we are, Eros will keep shooting arrows at people who reflect us back to ourselves. We are the ones who tell Eros, "Send the arrow to this person," and so he does. But the power to redirect the arrow is in our hands.

Let us love ourselves consciously and subconsciously, let us feel secure and whole. Only then do we become whole. Only then do we become Eros.

With love,

Sultan Merve GÜZEL