THE "I" WE SPEAK OF AND OUR IDENTITIES

The word "I" has multiple meanings in the Turkish Language Association dictionary.

Its first meaning:

Ego, First-Person Singular, The consciousness that separates a person from other beings.

Other meanings include:

A dark-colored bump on the skin.
A sign of maturity or whiteness in hair or beard.
Bait placed on a fishing hook or food carried by a bird for its young.

The Turkish Language Association defines the word "self" as follows:

A person’s essence, personality, what makes them who they are, individuality.
Placing importance on one’s own personality, seeing oneself as superior, arrogance, pride.

G.I. Gurdjieff’s views on the concepts of "I" and "self" are explained in P.D. Ouspensky’s book The Psychology of Man’s Possible Evolution as follows:

*"The biggest mistake is to think that a person is always one and the same. A person never remains the same for long; they are constantly changing. Even within half an hour, they rarely stay the same. A person does not have a permanent and unchanging 'I'. Every thought, every internal state, every desire, every sense says 'I'. In reality, there are hundreds and thousands of independent little 'I's that often do not know each other, have no connection, or are even hostile and in conflict with one another.

The replacement of one 'I' by another and their constant struggle for dominance is directed by external influences. Warmth, sunlight, and good weather summon a whole group of 'I's. Cold, fog, and rain summon another group, triggering different associations, emotions, and behaviors. There is nothing in a person that can control these changes in 'I's, primarily because a person is unaware of them and does not realize this process; they always live in the most recent 'I'.

Of course, some 'I's are stronger than others. But this is not due to their own conscious strength; rather, they are created by coincidences or external mechanical influences. Education, imitation, reading, religious indoctrination, social classes, traditions, and the allure of new slogans create very strong 'I's in a person’s personality. These strong 'I's dominate the weaker ones, but their power is simply the power of recorded habits in different centers. And all the 'I's that form a person's personality originate from the same external influences.

Each small 'I' has the ability to act on behalf of the Whole, to make agreements, to promise, and to make decisions—decisions that another 'I' or the Whole will later have to deal with. This explains why people often make resolutions but rarely follow through. A person decides to wake up early the next day. A particular 'I' or group of 'I's makes this decision. But waking up is the responsibility of another 'I' that is completely opposed to or unaware of this decision. Naturally, that person will continue sleeping in the morning and will make the same resolution again in the evening."*

So, how can one find liberation amidst all this chaos?

The book continues:

*"In an Eastern teaching, a person is compared to a house with many servants but no master or steward. All the servants have forgotten their duties; none of them want to do what they should, and each one tries to be the master, even if only for a moment. Such disorder puts the house in great danger.

The only hope of salvation is for a relatively more reasonable group of servants to come together and elect a temporary steward, a deputy steward. This deputy steward can then assign each servant to their proper place—sending the cook to the kitchen, the driver to the stable, the gardener to the garden, and so on. In this way, the 'house' can be prepared for the arrival of the true steward, who will then set it in order for the master's arrival."*

The first step to breaking our identification with what we have perceived as "I" until now is awareness.

Awareness that what we define as "I" is not actually "I"...

A small spark of awareness will weaken that identification.Asking, "Is this really me?" will weaken that identification.Asking, "Does this feeling/emotion/thought truly belong to me?" will weaken that identification.Shifting attention to bodily awareness (breathing, the soles of the feet) will weaken that identification.

Emotions and feelings may be intensely experienced, and this intensity often leads us to define all our thoughts, emotions, and sensations as "I." Instead of trying to suppress these emotions, allowing ourselves to feel them—especially negative ones that we tend to repress—can reduce their intensity and, in turn, lessen our identification with them.

To pause is the most necessary step in creating a space of awareness within.

There is a saying, though I do not know its origin:"Be yourself;Do not make promises when you are happy,Do not respond when you are sad,Do not make decisions when you are angry."

I wish everyone a life where they can create more space for peace within their soul.