ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

They say that merely asking is enough and the answers will come. Knock, and the door will be opened… or simply walk, and you will eventually arrive. Unfortunately, things don’t quite work that way. As long as we fail to ask the right questions, the wrong answers will appear—and with those answers, it’s nearly impossible to do the right things or head in a sound direction. Just as doors won’t open if we ignore the etiquette of approaching them, or wandering aimlessly won’t lead us anywhere meaningful, asking the wrong questions prolongs our path and often makes things more complicated.

One of the most common dynamics that hinders growth—and can make the journey heavier—is precisely this: asking the wrong questions. One reason for this is failing to truly grasp the issue… or not wanting to. Just like the wrong key cannot open a door and at best only breaks something, this too is worth keeping in mind.

Yes, questions are often more important than the answers themselves. They are the first step—but only if they are the right ones. Einstein’s words may be the clearest on this:“If I had an hour to solve a problem, and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the right question to ask… Because once I knew the right question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”We generally do the opposite. And of course, the reasons for this reversal are the topic of an entirely different discussion. We all have questions—and answer loops—that skirt around the real issue, avoid it, deflect it, distract us, or muddy the path even further.

As for asking the right questions:

1. Define the problem clearly, honestly, very simply, briefly, and repeatedly.

2. Ask brave questions—questions you are willing to take responsibility for and act upon once the answers come

3. When these two steps are in place, answers arrive quickly, clearly, and simply. What remains is not returning to the question over and over, but applying the steps consistently. That’s all.

   
   

Whenever we ask “afterlife-type questions”—ones that aren’t really about us or that already exceed what we have the power to influence—I suggest asking:

How will this benefit me?Does this actually solve my problem?Is this even my real problem?

Ask at least one of these.You can even use the answer you receive to understand whether your original question was the right one.

To ask the right questions, we need an accurate diagnosis of the issue and a priority hierarchy. For this, I primarily recommend contemplation and meditation—tools that clear away the unnecessary, the excessive details, and the unhelpful identifications that cloud our judgment.

Wishing all of us a clean, clear year in which we can ask the right questions, act on the answers we receive, and trust that both the questions and the answers already exist within us.

Ahu Birlik